My favorite dog quotes:
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.  ~Bern Williams


Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies.  ~Gene Hill


The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.  ~Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912


"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend:
and inside a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx



Dogs are miracles with paws.  ~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy


I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.  They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death.  Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying.  ~George Bird Evans, Troubles with Bird Dogs


"Liberals are like dogs:
The liberal holds that he is true to the republic when he is true to himself. (It may not be as cozy an attitude as it sounds.) He greets with enthusiasm the fact of the journey, as a dog greets a man’s invitation to take a walk. And he acts in the dog’s way too, swinging wide, racing ahead, doubling back, covering many miles of territory that the man never traverses, all in the spirit of inquiry and the zest for truth. He leaves a crazy trail, but he ranges far beyond the genteel old party he walks with and he is usually in a better position to discover a skunk."
- E. B. White



Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.  ~Holbrook Jackson


The dog is the only animal that has seen his god.  ~Author Unknown


Dogs' lives are too short.  Their only fault, really.  ~Agnes Sligh Turnbull


No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.  ~Christopher Morley


We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults.  Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.  ~George Eliot


Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience.  ~Jon Winokur


"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,
quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love
and always have to mix love and hate." - Sigmund Freud


I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive.  ~Gilda Radner


Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.  ~Agnes Repplier


One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.  ~Author Unknown


Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.  ~Franklin P. Jones


I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands.  When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat.  For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.  ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth


"No man can be condemed for owning a dog.
As long as he has a dog, he has a friend;
and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has." - Will Rogers


When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!  ~David Starr Jordan


Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.  ~Corey Ford


If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.  ~Phil Pastoret


A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings


With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog.  ~Edward Jesse, Anecdote of Dogs


The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man.  ~Robertson Davies


Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.  ~Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laughter


"In dog training, jerk is a noun, not a verb."- Dr. Dennis Fetko


"If your dog is too fat, you are not getting enough exercise."-Unknown



My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.  ~Author Unknown


If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.  ~Andy Rooney


A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.  ~ John Holmes


"Never trust a dog to watch your food." - Unknown


If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.  ~Will Rogers


The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.  ~Mme. de Staël


A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.  ~Robert Benchley


"Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog;
but you're never friendless ever, if you have a dog." - Douglas Mallock


"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."- Ann Landers



To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.  ~Aldous Huxley


They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.  ~Jerome K. Jerome


"In dog years I'm dead" - Unknown


Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that is how dogs spend their lives.  ~Sue Murphy


"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
- Mark Twain


"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."- James Thurber


"I can't think of anything that brings me closer to tears than when my old dog -- completely exhausted after a hard day in the field -- limps away from her nice spot in front of the fire and comes over to where I'm sitting and puts her head in my lap, a paw over my knee, and closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. I don't know what I've done to deserve that kind of friend."- Gene Hill



If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.  ~Karel Čapek


Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices.  This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog.  ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, "Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog"


A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.  ~Ogden Nash


"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."- Rita Rudner



"A man's soul can be judged by the way he treats his dog."
- Charles Doran


The dog was created specially for children.  He is the god of frolic.  ~Henry Ward Beecher


Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.  ~Roger Caras


Dogs have given us their absolute all.  We are the center of their universe.  We are the focus of their love and faith and trust.  They serve us in return for scraps.  It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.  ~Roger Caras


"Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative."- Mordecai Siegal


In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man.  ~Maurice Maeterlinck


Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.  ~Dave Barry


"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" - Anne Tyler


Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.  ~Colette


The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.  ~Winston Churchill


One reason a dog is such a lovable creature is his tail wags instead of his tongue.  ~Author Unknown


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.  ~Andy Rooney


The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother - and they'll settle for a puppy every time.  ~Winston Pendelton


You ask of my companions.  Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me.  They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell.  ~Emily Dickinson


The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread.  ~Portuguese Proverb


To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.  ~Milan Kundera


When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.  ~Edward Abbey


If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.  ~Woodrow Wilson


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.  ~Josh Billings


I love a dog.  He does nothing for political reasons.  ~Will Rogers


I named my dog Stay so I can say, "Come here, Stay.  Come here, Stay."  ~Steven Wright


I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.  ~Penny Ward Moser


When a dog wants to hang out the "Do Not Disturb" sign, as all of us do now and then, he is regarded as a traitor to his species.  ~Ramona C. Albert


The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.  ~Margo Kaufman


Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.  ~Robert Benchley


I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.  ~Rita Rudner



Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.  ~Josh Billings


I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday.  ~George Bernard Shaw